I have done a decent amount of research on Beijing and the upcoming Olympic Games for several stories, and I felt a lesson in Chinese would be fun before the opening ceremony.

But before we get into all of this, I would like to state (for the record) that I am a strong supporter of Taiwan and consider it an independent nation in every right.

Now then…on to our first lesson. Here are some basics to get you started (please keep in mind that this has been written to be easily read and (hopefully) spoken):

• wo (with a long ‘o’) – I
• ni (nee) – you
  • wo ai ni – I love you (but you can’t really use ai (love) in any way you want, i.e. you can’t use it like wo ai Prada – however to say sex is very literal, ‘tzo ai’ is make love (keep reading…)
• ta – he or she
• hao (said like ‘how’) – good or yes
• hen (hun – upbeat, but short) – very, positive
  • wo hen hao – I am good
• bu – no, not good, negative
  • wo bu hao – I am not good
• shi huan – like
  • wo shi huan Prada – I like Prada
• yao – want
• wo yao – I want *so if you want anything, say ‘wo yao’ and then what you want:
  • wo yao da dee – cab/taxi – I want to catch a cab
  • ni yao bo-ba ni zta – bubble milk tea – you want a bubble tea
  • ta yao chuu Prada – to go – (s)he wants to go to Prada
• ma – comes at the end of a sentence indicating a question
• gun – with
  • Ni yao gun wo tzo ai ma? - Do you want to have sex with me? (hee hee hee)
• Ni hao – Hello (the first thing you should know how to say after ‘do you want to have sex with me?’!)
• Ni hao ma – How are you?
• Wo hen hao – I am very good
• shi (shuuhr) – am
  • wo shi mei guao ren – I am an American
• Prada zai nar? – Where is Prada? So, if you want to know where anything is, you simply name the place and then say ‘zi nar’
  • Tze (t-uh) swo zai nar? – Where is the bathroom?
• Doo (not Du, doo-with a flat o) sao (sow-like a female pig)? – How much?
  • Do sao mai jing (ging)? – How much in American dollars?
• Tai guA (gwe-AY)! – Too much!
• xie-xie (shay-shay) – thank you
• baang wo – help me
• xo kai – go away

Lesson II and III to follow…