Do you know what you want to do for the rest of your life? Do you have concrete career goals and know where you’d like to be in 5 or 10 years? I used to (when I was 21) and since then have learned that I’m not in total control of my life and simply need to roll as best I can with the punches. And while I’m not quite sure what I’m woring for, I should know, right? I should be able to tell people what I eventually want to be, right? Well, in all honesty, I can’t. And please keep in mind that I’ll be 30 next month.

When I was younger, my career is what I had to look forward to–babies, marriage, etc. were at the back of my mind, if anywhere. First I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then I wanted to be a lawyer so I could wear sharp suits. And then I realized that I wanted to have a career I was super passionate about and so I dropped everything in Hawai’i to move to New York (where I had never been) to work in fashion. I wanted to be the chic, sexy fashion writer I always dreamed about being. Wanted to walk down 5th Avenue in stilettos and become a source of inspiration for other young women.

Now that I’ve worked in the industry for over 7 years, I’m a little sick of how slow it moves. The fashion industry isn’t ready, willing, or able to move into the next century and remains rather aloof in this one. Seriously, if a fashion company is on twitter, they think that they’re super in-the-know.

So what do I really want? I want my son to always feel secure and happy. I want to marry my boyfriend and have another baby. I want to live closer to my relatives. To continue to work in fashion, but work smarter in the industry and help young brands establish themselves. I want to be part of a bigger effort, something that impacts hundreds/thousands of people. I don’t want to limit myself and want to always make the best of whatever situation I’m presented with. I want to read more books, light more candles, and take care of myself better.

What the hell do you want to do with your life?